Psychologist Interview with Wendy (Marriage Counselling Perth)
Wendy has practiced psychology for over 20 years during which time she has worked with adolescents and adults individually, as couples and in family groups. She currently works in general private practice as well as the forensic area and has extensive experience in assisting people with depression, anxiety, emotional management difficulties including anger, as well as those suffering loss and grief.
- What has made you interested in helping couples with their relationships?
I place high importance in assisting couples have a respectful, loving and happy relationship as I consider it to be the most salient requirement for happy and healthy life for those people. Stress is known to negatively impact on the immune system, so a supportive and loving relationship assists us in dealing with health issues and life stressors. If the couple has children, then modelling a functional and protective relationship will assist those children to grow into healthy, happy and well-adjusted children.
- What do you find are the most common relationships problems that you see in couples coming in to see you?
Many couples with young children suffer from a significant deterioration in their communication as they deal with the stress of managing a household, often with long work hours and minimal sleep. Jealousy is a common issue, often entering a relationship after a breakdown in communication between the couple. Phubbing and preoccupation with being entertained by various technology reduces communication and connection, causing people to feel isolated and lonely in their relationship.
- What are the most common problems for women in relationships?
Partner infidelity (or suspicions of), a loss of sense of self, feeling isolated, building resentment at their perceived lack of equality with regard to household chores and time to themselves.
- What are the most common problems for men in relationships?
Partner infidelity (or suspicions of), feeling shut out and confused about what they want as they perceive they are getting “mixed messages” and are unable to please their partner.
- What would you like couple clients to know about the couple counselling process before they come in?
That you cannot change another person, they need to do that for themselves. Also that changing established patterns of behaviour is a process and it will take time and diligence. It may sound simple, but feeling good after airing your problems in one session is not going to achieve change. You need to pay attention to the way you respond to your partner and break unhelpful habits.
6. If you had one word of advice for couples with children, what would it be?
Make time to spend with each other, doing something that is fun for you both, that is laugh together. Marriage counselling Perth offered here.
7. What advice would you give to couples trying to rebuild their relationship after an affair?
That rebuilding trust will take time. If someone is hurt, then they will be on guard to avoid being hurt again – that is a natural and protective response to any painful situation. The hurt person will need time to work through their hurt. They will also need time to rebuild their trust in the person who was unfaithful. That person has to prove that they can be trusted again by being totally transparent and honest, which means being accountable. With time and goodwill from both sides the trust can be rebuilt, but it will be fragile for some time. So doubts and fears need reassurance, not anger responses.
8. What, for you, are the most important things that couples need to remember if they want their relationship to thrive, instead of just survive?
Have fun together and maintain respect for each other as individuals who have the right to be different.
9. What proportion of your couple clients manage, with your help, to successfully recreate a happy relationship from the difficult one that they came in with?
I don’t keep track. Those who want to work on their relationship usually do with success. However, with some couples one has already decided they want out, so they are not invested in working on the relationship.
10. What do you find is the most satisfying and fulfilling part of this work that you do?
Assisting people to be nicer to others and to themselves, which results in them having a happier life.
11. List 3 qualities that your friends and family would describe you as having.
Integrity, compassion, respect for others. I offer marriage counselling Perth.
12. List 3 strengths that you have as a Psychologist.
Knowledge of the profession, self-awareness, professionalism.
13. How many years experience do you have practicing/helping clients?
27 years to date, or longer if you count volunteer crisis work when studying.
If you would like to make a booking with Wendy or any other of our psychologists, you are welcome to fill out an enquiry form here, or call our friendly receptionists on 1300 830 552.