How Safe and connected do you feel with your partner?
Take this quick quiz to determine how secure your Attachment is.
From your view point, is your partner accessible to you?
- I can get my partner’s attention easily. T F
- My partner is easy to connect with emotionally. T F
- My partner shows me that I come first with him/her. T F
- I am not feeling lonely or shut out in this relationship. T F
- I can share my deepest feelings with my partner. He/she will listen. T F
From your viewpoint, is your partner responsive to you?
- If I need connection and comfort, he/she will be there for me. T F
- My partner responds to signals that I need him/her to come close. T F
- I find I can lean on my partner when I am anxious or unsure. T F
- Even when we fight or disagree, I know that I am important to my partner and we will find a way to come together. T F
- If I need reassurance about how important I am to my partner, I can get it. T F
Are you positively emotionally engaged with each other?
- I feel very comfortable being close to, trusting my partner. TF
- I can confide in my partner about almost anything. T F
- I feel confident, even when we are apart, that we are connected to each other. T F
- I know that my partner cares about my joys, hurts, and fears. T F
- I feel safe enough to take emotional risks with my partner. T F
To score, total the Ts Your total ……….
7 or more – Yes, you have a secure attachment or bond with partner
Les than 7 – Your bond and connection with your partner does NOT feel secure. You most probably feel you have an under- responsive partner.
You may want to talk with a Relationship Psychologist to help rebuild your bond and feeling or secure attachment.
More on do you feel you are competing with your partner’s mobile phone in our next blog.