Enquire About Our Associate Program
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Satisfaction Guarantee
  • REQUEST AN APPOINTMENT
Call Us Now

1300 830 552

  • About Us
  • Counselling
    Types
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Same Sex Relationships
    • Sexual Issues Counselling
    • Trauma Counselling
    • Narcissism Counselling
    • Pre Marriage Counselling Courses
    • Individuals Counselling
    • Asperger’s Relationship Counselling
    • Singles Counselling
    • Family Members Counselling
    • Anger Management Program
    • Online Counselling
    • Session Fees & Rebates
  • Relationship Counselling
    Locations
    • Brisbane
    • Gold Coast
    • Sunshine Coast
    • Townsville
    • Sydney
    • Central Coast
    • Wollongong
    • Melbourne
    • Wodonga
    • Adelaide
    • Perth
    • Canberra
  • Sex Therapy
    Locations
    • Sex Therapy Brisbane
    • Sex Therapy Gold Coast
    • Sex Therapy Sunshine Coast
    • Sex Therapy Townsville
    • Sex Therapy Sydney
    • Sex Therapy Canberra
    • Sex Therapy Central Coast
    • Sex Therapy Melbourne
    • Sex Therapy Adelaide
    • Sex Therapy Perth
  • Quizzes
    • How Strong Is Your Relationship?
    • What’s Your Attachment Style?
    • Do You Have An Anger Problem?
    • What’s Your Love Language?
  • Fees & Rebates
  • FAQs
  • Contact Us
  • About Us
  • Counselling
    Types
    • Relationship Counselling
    • Same Sex Relationships
    • Sexual Issues Counselling
    • Trauma Counselling
    • Narcissism Counselling
    • Pre Marriage Counselling Courses
    • Individuals Counselling
    • Asperger’s Relationship Counselling
    • Singles Counselling
    • Family Members Counselling
    • Anger Management Program
    • Online Counselling
    • Session Fees & Rebates
  • Relationship Counselling
    Locations
    • Brisbane
    • Gold Coast
    • Sunshine Coast
    • Townsville
    • Sydney
    • Central Coast
    • Wollongong
    • Melbourne
    • Wodonga
    • Adelaide
    • Perth
    • Canberra
  • Sex Therapy
    Locations
    • Sex Therapy Brisbane
    • Sex Therapy Gold Coast
    • Sex Therapy Sunshine Coast
    • Sex Therapy Townsville
    • Sex Therapy Sydney
    • Sex Therapy Canberra
    • Sex Therapy Central Coast
    • Sex Therapy Melbourne
    • Sex Therapy Adelaide
    • Sex Therapy Perth
  • Quizzes
    • How Strong Is Your Relationship?
    • What’s Your Attachment Style?
    • Do You Have An Anger Problem?
    • What’s Your Love Language?
  • Fees & Rebates
  • FAQs
  • Contact Us

Blog

  • You are here:
  • Home
  • Affairs: the 7 reasons why they happen

Our Blogs

Affairs: the 7 reasons why they happen

  • Posted by Admin
  • On December 10, 2013
  • In Relationship counselling, Relationship problems, Marriage counselling, Affairs, Relationship, Individual counselling for relationships
  • 0

Most people entering a marriage or long term relationship are doing so hoping and trusting that it will be a monogamous relationship; so the discovery of an affair is a huge betrayal of that bond and trust with devastating effects on the partner and the relationship.

An affair certainly signals that there is a problem in the relationship, but most affairs are symptoms rather than the cause of the problems.

A key question to ask is “What problem in your relationship did the affair solve?”

 

Julia Cole in her recently revised book “After the Affair” has noted that there are 7 types of affairs each with their own associated reasons. They are:

1. The Door opener Affair:

This usually happens when a partner feels they have had enough of their relationship and is looking to set up another one because they are no longer emotionally connected or committed to their current partner. It provides someone to hold their hand as they exit their relationship.

 

2. The 3 legged stool Affair:

This is usually a long term affair that the partner knows about. When pressures get too much to handle in a relationship, one partner has an affair which gives him/her an emotional safety valve and relieves this pressure, and then the couple can spend their time wrangling about his/her unfaithfulness, rather than the original issues.

 

3 The Revenge Affair:

This is usually a short affair, but comes about because one partner has been hurt or betrayed, often by their partner being unfaithful. It can be experienced as a way to re-establish a sense of self esteem, or of a way to express their deep hurt for 8164886_mwhat their partner has done.

 

Stay tuned for the next 4 reasons affairs happen in my next blog next week.

If you have had an affair, or your partner has, you can be helped to work through this by seeing a relationship counsellor.

Regards

Julie

Read More
TAGS: kinds of affairs couples counselling sydney why affairs happen trust and affairs marriage counselling affairs relationship counselling
Share:

Previous Post

Is one of you an Intimacy Withholder?

Next Post

Why women find it difficult to be assertive in their relationships
0 comments on Affairs: the 7 reasons why they happen

Search our Therapists

Near You

Rebates Available

You may be able to receive rebates of up to 75% of your session costs.

Satisfaction Guarantee

We're proud to offer our 100% risk-free, satisfaction guarantee.

GP Referral Info

Information for referring Doctors, GPs, and Health Professionals.
Blog Categories
  • Relationship
  • Development
  • Learning
  • Managing
  • Marriage counselling
  • Couples counselling
  • Empathy
  • Attachment
  • Controlling
  • Assertiveness
  • Individual counselling for relationships
  • Relationship problems
  • Intimacy
  • Communication
  • Affairs
  • Relationship counselling
  • Financial stress
  • Personal growth
  • psychological wellbeing
  • Self Esteem
  • stress
  • Relationship happiness
  • Compatibility
  • Enneagram
  • Personality
  • Infertility
  • Narcissism
  • Singles
  • Break up
  • Psychologist Interviews
  • Sex
  • Aspergers
Scroll
Quick Links
  • Home
  • About Us
  • Our Blogs
  • Members Log In
  • Contact Us
Resources
  • Relationship Counselling
  • Sex Therapy
  • Fees and Rebates
  • FAQ’s
Contact Us

1300 830 552

Email Us

© 2018 The Hart Centre. All rights reserved.

Marketing by Maquis Media