Your answers point to an anxious attachment style – sometimes called anxious-preoccupied. At its heart is a deep wish for closeness and a real fear of losing it. You probably love deeply, attune closely to a partner’s moods, and feel it keenly when there’s distance between you. The hard part is that the same sensitivity that makes you a devoted partner can tip into worry, reassurance-seeking, and reading the worst into small silences.
It helps to know this isn’t a flaw in you – it’s a pattern, usually learned early, when closeness felt uncertain. That means it can soften. The fear that you’re too much is one most anxiously attached people carry, and it tends to ease as you learn to self-soothe, ask for what you need directly, and trust that a partner’s love can survive a gap in contact.
This is exactly the kind of thing that shifts with support. A relationship counsellor can help you understand your triggers, find steadier ground when the fear flares, and build the secure connection you long for – whether you’re single, dating, or working on a relationship now. You don’t have to manage it on your own.
Your relationship matters. For over 20 years, we’ve helped over 83,000 clients as Australia’s leading couples counselling group. With over 230+ Hart Centre Certified therapists, finding yours is easy.
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