Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a well-researched and evidence-based approach to couples therapy that focuses on emotional connection and bonding.
EFT is based on attachment theory, which emphasizes the importance of secure emotional bonds in relationships. The goal of EFT is to help couples identify and express their emotional needs, creating a stronger, more secure connection.
Key Components of EFT:
EFT involves a series of structured steps and stages to help couples improve their emotional connection and resolve conflicts. The therapy sessions are designed to create a safe and supportive environment where couples can explore and express their emotions.
EFT sessions typically last between 60 and 90 minutes. During these sessions, couples engage in structured exercises and discussions aimed at improving their emotional connection. The therapist provides support, guidance, and feedback to help the couple achieve their therapeutic goals.
Steps in an EFT Session:
EFT may offer numerous benefits for couples seeking to improve their emotional connection and relationship satisfaction:
EFT is considered a safe and effective approach for couples dealing with a variety of relationship issues, including communication problems, conflict, and emotional disconnection. It is important to work with a certified EFT therapist who has undergone specialised training to ensure the best possible outcomes.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) offers a compassionate and structured approach to improving emotional connection and relationship satisfaction. By recognising and addressing emotional needs, couples may achieve greater intimacy and stability. If you are considering EFT, know that you are taking a proactive step towards enhancing your relationship. A qualified EFT therapist can guide you through this process with expertise and compassion.
Remember, working on your relationship is a journey, and seeking help is a sign of commitment and strength. EFT might be the key to unlocking a healthier and more fulfilling partnership.
If you have any questions or would like to learn more about EFT, we have a number of EFT trained therapists who can help – give us a call on 1300 830 552 or send an email enquiry to be matched with a therapist near you.
How EFT rebuilds the bond underneath the arguments - including what happens when one partner shuts down, and how it handles infidelity.
EFT is a couples therapy approach that works on the emotional bond underneath your arguments. Most recurring fights aren’t really about the dishes or the in-laws – they’re protests about disconnection. EFT helps couples see the negative cycle they’re caught in, reach the softer emotions driving it, and rebuild a secure bond.
EFT is among the most researched couples therapies, with studies consistently showing a substantial proportion of couples move from distress to recovery, and gains that tend to hold over time. Individual results vary – engagement from both partners matters – but the evidence base is one of the strongest in couples work.
No – this is a common mix-up. Emotionally Focused Therapy is a research-based couples therapy; Emotional Freedom Technique (“tapping”) is an unrelated practice that shares the initials. Our EFT-trained therapists practise the couples therapy developed by Dr Sue Johnson.
We have EFT-trained couples therapists across Australia, including couples therapy in Melbourne and relationship counselling in Adelaide, with telehealth available everywhere. Mention EFT when you enquire and we’ll match you with a therapist trained in it.
EFT typically runs somewhere between eight and twenty sessions, moving through de-escalating the negative cycle, restructuring the bond, and consolidating the changes. Couples usually feel the first shift when they can see their cycle happening in real time – often within the first handful of sessions.
Yes – EFT frames an affair as an attachment injury, a rupture to the bond that has to be specifically repaired rather than moved past. There’s a defined EFT process for this: the hurt partner’s pain is fully heard, the involved partner learns to respond to it rather than defend against it, and the injury gets processed rather than buried. Buried injuries are what resurface in every future argument, so this matters.
Three stages: de-escalation (mapping your negative cycle and making the cycle – not each other – the enemy), restructuring (each partner reaching underneath their protest or withdrawal to the softer feelings driving it, and the other learning to respond), and consolidation (locking in the new pattern). Most of the visible change happens in stage two, which is also where the work gets most emotional.
Yes – Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT) applies the same attachment lens to individual work. It suits people working on their side of a relationship pattern alone, processing a relationship that’s ended, or preparing for couples work a partner isn’t ready for yet.
EFT is arguably the approach best designed for exactly this – withdrawal is treated as part of the cycle, not a character flaw or a lack of caring. EFT therapists work carefully with withdrawn partners, slowing things down rather than pressuring them to open up on demand. Pursuer-withdrawer couples are EFT’s home ground.
Dr Sue Johnson, a Canadian psychologist, developed EFT in the 1980s with Les Greenberg, grounding couples therapy in adult attachment science – the idea that partners aren’t being irrational in conflict, they’re protesting disconnection from the person they’re bonded to. Her book Hold Me Tight is the accessible version many couples read alongside therapy.
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