Keys to being Psychologically Healthy (and therefore having healthy relationships)

For many of us growing up with parents who did their best, but didn’t know about psychological good health, we ourselves grow up to be an adult doing our best too, but don’t really know what psychological good health really looks like.

So here’s some an overview of what someone who is psychologically healthy is doing in their lives. These attributes are essential for us all to keep ourselves healthy and happy:

1. You experience and express a wide range of feelings deeply, both pleasant and unpleasant, and in the moment, rather than block them or deaden the impact of them.

2. You expect entitlements to appropriate experiences of pleasure and mastery, as well as the environmental input necessary to achieve these objectives. You expect you can master your life and achieve what is good for you. You have confidence that your real self can expect positive responses from others.

3. Self activation and self assertion. You are able to identify your own unique individuality, wishes, dreams, and goals, and to be assertive in expressing them autonomously. It also includes taking the necessary steps to make these dreams a reality and supporting and defending them when they are under attack.

4. 4. Acknowledgement of self esteem. This allows you to identify and acknowledge that you have effectively coped with a problem or crisis in a positive and creative way, and can remind yourself that you are a worthwhile individual with many skills and abilities.

5. The ability to soothe painful feelings. When things go wrong, and you are hurt, you can know how to minimise and soothe painful feelings and, as well, put things into perspective.

6. The ability to make and stick to commitments, both in career and in relationships when it is clear that it is in your best interests.

7. Creativity. The ability to replace old, familiar patterns of living and problem solving with new and equally or more successful ones.

8. Intimacy. The capacity to express your real self fully and honestly in a close relationship with another with minimal anxiety about abandonment or engulfment.

9. The ability to be alone. You can be alone without feeling abandoned. This allows you to manage yourself and your feelings through periods when there is no special person in your life, as well as organise your life around worthwhile activities. It also includes not having to fill up your lives with meaningless sexual activity or dead end relationships to avoid being lonely.

10. The continuity of the self. The capacity to recognise and acknowledge that you have a deeply felt solid core that persists through your life that is always there and never changing, despite what changes on the outside.

For most of us we find that we are good at some of these and perhaps underdeveloped in other areas.

If you would like any help in developing any of these areas in yourself, please don’t hesitate to call us as we can help you. Contact us for an individual or relationship counselling appointment today.

We have Psychologists in Sydney and in all capital and large regional cities in Australia. Call us on 1300830552.