Score range: 33-42 Your concerns aren't matched by major warning signs - and that's worth understanding
Based on what you shared, what your partner is doing doesn’t appear to be causing significant harm to your relationship right now. There aren’t strong patterns of secrecy, escalation, or relational damage in the picture you described. That’s worth knowing.
But here’s the thing. If you’re sitting here taking this quiz, something has been bothering you. And that matters too.
People come to porn use from very different places. For some partners, even occasional or moderate use clashes with deeply held values around faithfulness, presence, or what intimacy should be in a committed relationship. That’s not overreacting. That’s a values mismatch, and values mismatches in a relationship are real, valid, and worth talking about.
The question for you might not be ‘is my partner doing something harmful’ (the answers here suggest probably not). The question might be ‘are we genuinely aligned on what we want our relationship to look like’ – and that’s a different conversation.
This isn’t a crisis. It might be a conversation. One that works through:
Most partners in your position don’t need crisis support. They need a framework for the conversation, ideally one that respects both their values and their partner’s perspective.
Our partner toolkit includes sections on values, communication, and what mainstream use actually looks like, which might be useful at this stage.
Therapy is available if you’d like to work this through with someone, but for most people in this band, that’s not the first step.
This is a personal reflection tool, not a lead generator. We won’t chase you. You’ll know where to find us.
Your relationship matters. For over 20 years, we’ve helped over 83,000 clients as Australia’s leading couples counselling group. With over 230+ Hart Centre Certified therapists, finding yours is easy.
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