Understanding yourself and others require identifying what type of personality you have come into this life pre-wired as. Your Enneagram profile is one of the most helpful ways to discover yourself and just as importantly, how you contribute to your relationship problems.
What is the Enneagram?
The modern Enneagram is based on ancient Eastern wisdom combined with modern Psychological thought. There are 9 Personality types each with different patterns of thinking, feeling and acting. Each style has its own natural gifts, limitations, and blind spots.
When you know your Enneagram number, you can then be aware of the unconscious assumptions that drive the way you see yourself, do your work, and relate in your relationships.
And you can also understand why your partner seems to act in the bizarre, inconsiderate, intrusive, self-interested, seductive or charming ways that he or she does.
There are no types that are better than any other. Each is effective in their own way, but from a very different point of view. Once you know how he or she see things from the inside out, you can see why they do the things they do which makes perfect sense to them.
- Ones want to make things right.
- Twos need to be of help.
- Threes are driven to succeed.
- Fours yearn to be special.
- Fives want to be left alone to think.
- Sixes seek safety and support.
- Sevens are connoisseurs of life’s pleasures.
- Eights are driven to dominate others.
- Nines don’t want to make waves.
The following is a broad overview of the nine types of human nature summarized above. As you can see, it can be fun to also identify movie stars and people we all know as well, and to be able to see the common patterns amongst them.
Type One. The Reformer.
The principled, idealistic Type. Ones are ethical and conscientious, with a strong sense of right and wrong. They are teachers and crusaders, always striving to improve things but afraid of making a mistake. Well organized, orderly, and fastidious, they try to maintain high standards but can slip into being critical and perfectionistic. Ones are reliable, fair and honest. You earn love by being perfect and worry about getting it right.
Ones typically have problems with repressed anger (resentment) and impatience. At their best, healthy Ones are wise, discerning, realistic, and noble, as well as morally heroic. Your thinking centers around what you “should” be doing. It feels honorable to dedicate yourself to doing good. Standards slipping doesn’t go unnoticed, and there’s a strong drive to correct them. Actions are carefully monitored with great conscientiousness. In self-defense, you can feel morally superior by finding fault with others.
Ones in a relationship can contribute by being critical, judgmental, inflexible, argumentative, having too high standards, being uncompromising and overly serious. Ones are helped by partners who accept differences of opinion, who soften the One Right Way thinking, and who bring pleasure to a relationship.
Examples of ones are Jack Canfield, Robert Kiyosaki, Batman, Superman, Plato and Gandhi
If you are a One, you can begin the process of your growth by beginning to hand back the responsibility for things to others and increase your fun and relaxation.
Type Two. The Helper.
The caring, interpersonal type. Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm hearted. Friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, these individuals can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. Driven to form close connections, they often act for others to feel needed.
They typically have problems taking care of themselves and acknowledging their needs. At their best, healthy Twos are unselfish and altruistic and have unconditional love for themselves and others. Twos in a relationship can contribute by being overly accommodating, possessive, martyr-like, manipulative, insincere and hysterical.
Twos are helped by partners who are not seduced by your adaption, who love you separately from what you give, and who can see you through the crisis of having to stand alone and discover your own needs.
Examples of Twos are Jennifer Aniston, Princess Diana, Weary Dunlop, Florence Nightingale.
If you are a Two, you can begin the process of your growth by exploring what your own needs are and starting to supply them for yourself.
Type Three. The Achiever.
The adaptable, success-oriented type. Threes are self-assured, attractive and charming. Ambitious, competitive and energetic, they can also be status-conscious and highly driven for personal advancement. Threes are often concerned about their image and what others think of them. They typically have problems with workaholism and competitiveness.
If you are a Three, you always want to be first, to lead, and to be seen. You like to impress people. Work is the area of interest; your feelings are suspended while the job gets done. You believe people in love should look happy and productive, love shouldn’t be overwhelming or sad.
At the best, healthy Threes are self-accepting, authentic, and everything they seem to be – role models who inspire others. Threes in a relationship can contribute by being self-centered, vain, superficial, overly competitive, deceptive and defensive.
Threes are helped by partners who love them for who they are rather than what they produce, or the image they project to the world.
Examples of Threes are Tom Cruise, Donald Trump, Tony Robbins, Bill Clinton, Madonna, Christopher Skase and Barbara Streisand.
If you are a Three, you can begin the process of your growth by stopping doing what you are doing and exploring who you really are.
Type Four. The Individualist.
The romantic, introspective type. Fours are self-aware, sensitive, reserved and quiet. They are self revealing, emotionally honest, and personal, but they can also be moody and self conscious. Withholding themselves from others due to feeling vulnerable and defective, they can also feel disdainful and exempt from ordinary ways of living.
If you are a Four, you are perceptive, expressive and individualistic. A lifelong quest for deep, heartfelt connection shapes your journey. Attraction, conflict, intense emotions, and heartbreak are familiar experiences. Elegance appeals to you, and dressing in a distinctive, unique style brings joy. Often, you seek love from afar, only to feel disheartened when it is actually close. We had it once. Where did it go? Emotional highs and lows are part of your life. You can feel deprived when you see others enjoy the happiness that you long for.
Fours in a relationship can contribute by being temperamental, self absorbed, emotionally needy, snobbish, depressed, and self indulgent.
Fours are helped by partners who can see the good in the here and now. They need partners who are psychologically healthy and who can stand fast during the intense emotional tides. At the best, healthy Fours are inspired and highly creative, able to renew themselves and transform their experiences.
Examples of Fours are Angelina Jolie, Oscar Wilde, David Bowie, Jackie Onassis and Johnny Depp.
If you are a Four, you can begin your process of growth by focusing on what you have that is positive.
Type Five. The Investigator.
The intense, cerebral type. Fives are alert, insightful, and curious. They are able to concentrate and focus on developing complex ideas and skills. Independent and innovative, they can become preoccupied with their thoughts and imaginary constructs. They become detached, yet high strung and intense. They typically have problems with isolation, eccentricity, and nihilism.
If you are a Five, you are objective, calm and insightful. Your home is your castle where you like to withdraw to. You need low visibility, controlled contact with people, and uninterrupted private time. Your mind is your best companion and is also a refuge that is totally safe from invasion.
Your needs are few as are your expectations of others. You detach from love and stay well away from any charged emotions in yourself or others.
Fives in a relationship can contribute by being contentious, arrogant, stingy, withdrawn, stubborn, withholding and alienated. Fives are helped by partners who can make self-disclosure safe, who can point out over-intellectualization and who respect your need for privacy time and space.
At their best, healthy Fives are visionary pioneers, often ahead of their time and able to see the world in an entirely different way.
Examples of Fives are Bill Gates, Barry Jones, Prince Charles and Geoffrey Robertson.
If you are a Five, you can begin your process of growth by trying to stay present in your body and emotions rather than retreating into your mind.
Type Six. The Loyalist.
The committed security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hardworking and responsible, but they can also be defensive, evasive and highly anxious running on stress while complaining about it. They are often cautious and indecisive but can also be reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.
If you are a Six, you are alert, witty and loyal.
Love and a bright future often feel uncertain, and trusting others can be intimidating. There is a tendency to question authority, search for hidden meanings, and stay cautious. Apprehension often triggers overthinking rather than action. Growth comes from rebuilding faith in people and learning to trust.
If you like, I can also make a slightly more fluid, evocative version that reads almost like a personality insight for a profile or book. Do you want me to do that?
Sixes in a relationship can contribute by being anxious, paranoid, rigid, testy, suspicious, hypervigilant and cruel. Partners help Sixes by offering reassurance, staying steadfast when the future seems uncertain, and acting with consistent fairness in their dealings.
At their best, healthy Sixes are internally stable, self-confident, and self-reliant, courageously supporting the weak and powerless.
Examples of Sixes are Julia Gillard, Jo Belke Peterson, John Howard, Mel Gibson and Osama bin Laden.
If you are a Six, you can help your growth by looking inward for your own inner guidance rather than from the outside world.
Type Seven. The Enthusiast.
The busy, productive type. Sevens are versatile, optimistic and spontaneous. Playful, high spirited and practical, they can also be overextended, scattered and undisciplined. They constantly seek new and exciting experiences, but they can become distracted and exhausted by staying on the go. They typically have problems with superficiality and impulsiveness.
If you are a Seven, you are enthusiastic, fun-loving and spontaneous. Your life is an adventure, and you are optimistic about it. Your world is full of options and ideas and plans to make the future bright. Everything’s alright when you’re looking ahead to a good time. Life’s OK when the energy starts to run. Your life is like a banquet of experience, stuffing the weekly schedule and filling the mind with plans. Disappointments barely surface, suddenly there’s a whole new idea. You feel buoyed by a sense of personal worth and follow your interests. You don’t need to touch on the painful aspects of life.
Sevens in a relationship can contribute by being self-centered, impulsive, rebellious, manic, restless, distractible and unreliable. Sevens are helped by partners who encourage you to stay rather than move on to the next project and who can encourage you to touch on and deal with your pain.
At their best, healthy Sevens focus their talents on worthwhile goals, becoming joyous, highly accomplished and full of gratitude.
Examples of Sevens are Billy Connelly, Steven Speilberg, Sarah Ferguson and Bette Midler.
If you are a Seven, you can begin your growth process by narrowing your focus to a few chosen directions.
Type Eight. The Challenger.
The powerful dominating type. Eights are self-confident, strong and assertive. Proactive, resourceful and decisive, they can also be proud and domineering. Eights feel that they must control their environment, often becoming confrontational and intimidating. They typically have problems with allowing themselves to be close to others.
If you are an Eight, you are energetic, brave and direct. You express your love through protection of your loved ones and respect for others is earned by power. You set the rules. A battle mentality is your normal mode. You know what you stand for, you know who stands against you, and you protect your position. You have a full-bore approach to life. The energy switch is either on or off. When life is interesting, the energy comes on. You’re fully into it and you want to be in there first. You often overlook when others get stood on or forgotten.
Eights in a relationship can contribute by being insensitive, domineering, overly aggressive, combative, uncompromising and self-centered.
Partners who stick to their own truth, hold their ground under pressure, and encourage you to express your gentler, more sensitive side help Eights thrive.
At their best, healthy Eights are self-mastering, using their strengths to improve others’ lives, becoming heroic, magnanimous, and sometimes historically great.
Examples of Eights are Russell Crowe, Paul Keating, Saddam Hussein and John McInroe.
If you are an Eight, you can begin your growth process by first recognizing your vulnerabilities.
Type Nine. The Peacemaker.
The easy-going self-effacing type. Nines are accepting trusting and stable. Good-natured, kindhearted, easygoing, and supportive, these individuals often prioritize harmony, sometimes going along with others to keep the peace. They prefer a conflict-free environment but can be complacent and downplay upsetting situations. Passivity and stubbornness are common challenges.
If you are a Nine, you are accepting, gentle, and receptive. You may merge with others, blur boundaries, and prioritize their agendas over your own. Decision-making can be hard, and you might sidetrack yourself with minor tasks instead of focusing on what matters.
Nines in a relationship can contribute by being apathetic, stubborn, unassertive, spaced out, forgetful and overly accommodating. Partners can help Nines by encouraging them to set their own goals, make their own choices, and follow through to completion.
At their best, healthy Nines are indomitable and all-embracing; they are able to bring people together and heal conflicts.
Examples of Nines are George Harrison, Queen Elizabeth II and Walt Disney.
If you are a Nine, you can begin your growth process by focusing on what you want and continue to work on your own agendas.
When you can begin to observe how your personality is running your life, in a nonjudgmental way, you can begin to see it like a home movie. As you can begin to observe and let go of it on increasing deeper levels, as well as being increasingly present with your real experiences, you can gradually reach more and more of your full human potential.
Julie Hart 
Melinda Hart Penten 
